to laugh at the things students do sometimes, and I have gotten the distinct impression that those in positions of greater influence than mine don’t appreciate me laughing at them either.

That said, the students were assigned an assessment (which is a fancy way of saying “test”) for our school district, and y’all…this thing reads like it was written by a Disney villain. I know I am not supposed to say stuff like that to the kids, but I am not sure the subtitles on my face were turned off when I was explaining it to them. Oy. My words said “This is not meant to trip you up, and it isn’t going to take you very long. It’s short and everything you need to help you is embedded in the assignment.”

But my face said “I am so, so, so sorry for what I am about to do to you. Please know that if you think it is confusing, or you aren’t sure about any of the answers, that is not your fault. It has to do with the assignment being written by someone who has never, ever met a middle school student, and who was likely on their fourth Redbull of the night when they started.”

This is what I have observed from the students while they did it.

One student widened his eyes, leaned closer to the screen like he was being shown a clue on a grainy CCTV footage tape of someone picking someone else’s pocket. When he verified that he actually saw what he thought he saw, he threw himself back in his chair and threw his pencil over his head, which landed in the lap of the student behind him. That student was completely unphased by flying pencils because he was “crashing out” (as the kids say) looking at his own assignment. He put his fingers in his hair and started fluffing it out vehemently, while making a face that would have made my mom say “Careful, or your face will freeze that way.” I tried. I really tried to keep a straight face, but it was just so tragically comical that I had to leave the room for a second to compose myself.

If you are the same age as me, give or take, then you might remember Ally McBeal. In one of the episodes, she was told she should come up with a theme song for herself that would make her feel like her day was following a rhythm she was in control of. Enter the “Ooga-Chucka-Ooga-Chucka” song (and if my perimenopausal memory serves me correctly – a dancing baby?). For this MixTape, I often think about what music would match the energy of any given day. Today is brought to you by “Yakety Sax.”

UPDATE: Apparently, I was not the only one who questioned the wisdom of assessing seventh grade knowledge by asking an impossible question. Ultimately, the test was rescored without it. So I guess we can add “Hallelujah Chorus” to the Mix as well.