Where do you come down on the idea of time travel? Good idea or bad? I’m not asking because I have finally broken through to the technology to do it (or have I?…MWAHAHAHA). I am just thinking over things.

I think of myself existing in a state of three beings. If you grew up in a family that referred to passed relatives in the present tense, then you might have a sense of what I mean. There is Future Butterfly, who looks at Present Butterfly and does her best to keep her from screwing things up too much. Then there is Present Butterfly who is constantly looking to Future Butterfly for guidance, and Past Butterfly for lessons. And finally there is Past Butterfly, who has the job of having made all the mistakes, or set up Present Butterfly (and, by extension, Future Butterfly) for success.

You know why I think time travel would be a valuable thing? Because whatever Doc says about the paradox unravelling the space time continuum, I don’t know anyone who wouldn’t benefit from a firm scolding from their future self. Think how much better you might be about doing your weight bearing exercise, or learning another language, or getting enough calcium, or folding your own laundry if you had Future You show up and be a visible visual representative of Consequences. I need that one kid’s Future Him (he knows who he is) to give him a FIRM talking to about how much harder he is making his own life down the road with his choices. I need that one girl’s Future Her to show up and tell her that all the hair and facial grooming in the world is not going to get her to graduation more easily, sooner, or with better outcomes. Truly, in a world of AI, why do ANY of us bother wearing make-up? Everyone doctors their photos anyway, right?

Today, I need time travel. I need to go back a few hours and give Past Butterfly a pep-talk, and a reminder of her professional obligations. Not just because she will make unnecessary difficulties for herself (though she will), but because she will spiral about it for the rest of the day. It seems middle-school might be contagious. Now, even though I KNOW better, I am taking everything personally. What that one student said. What the other student didn’t say. What that parent thinks of me. What that other teacher thinks of me. What I should have done to change their mind. What I could have said, or didn’t say, or …. I am just rounding the toilet bowl over and over, knowing that I am destined for the sewer of insecurity.

I’m trying to figure out which moment I would change, if I could time travel. Different outfit? Earlier bedtime? Extra coffee? Call in “Phuck-it”? Maybe I would stop and buy Past Butterfly some flowers with a note that said “Don’t let an OOPSIE-DAISIY decide what your day is!” (It’s a pun because daisies are my favorite flower. Get it?)

My mom (1951 – 2002) says that “This too shall pass.” It’s her favorite saying. That one, and “Hope springs eternal.” My grandmother (1929 – 2003) says that “You can’t let other people tell you who you are.” I think I think of those the most often because they are likely the most universally applicable. I mean, my dad (1935 – 2004) says “Remember to change the oil, and check the fluids,” which is also good advice, but only applicable every 3500 – 4000 miles. And, of course, my uncle (1953 – 2010) says “Did you wash your hands,” which feels honestly like the best piece of advice of all of it right now. I just want to wash my hands of the last four hours, and try again.

So would you time travel? What would you change?